Placing
1
My name is Anya. I work for Eton Solutions. It’s an authorized service center for some of the big computer companies, and I’m a field service technician. That means I go to offices where their computers are broken, and I fix them. Mostly servers. Companies have these big racks of servers in small rooms that are always too cold or too loud. I replace hard drives, fans, sometimes memory sticks. It’s mostly straightforward. Unplug the bad one, plug in the new one. Click. Done.
I drive a company car. It’s a white sedan. It smells like new plastic and slightly burned dust from the vents. Driving is okay. You follow the lines. GPS tells you the turns. I figured out how to put all the stops on the route in the GPS at once, so when you leave one site, it’s already telling you where to go next. I start my route early, so I can take the time to put in all the stops. Work is nice when it’s predictable.
Talking to clients is the hard part. People are not predictable. Sometimes their requests are confusing and their reactions don’t match what I expect. Sometimes I feel like I’m not tuned to the same station as everyone else. Or maybe I am, but I hear it all differently.
When I’m not working, or sleeping, or eating, I do Placing. I tried to explain it once, at work, and someone said it was like geocaching. I didn’t say I was mad, or act mad, because I’m working on trying to be nice when people don’t understand stuff, but I got a little mad at that. It’s not like geocaching. Placing is Mine. It’s about finding spots. Spots in the city that are a little bit Wrong, or different. Unexpected. A crack in a specific pattern, a fencepost with the wrong kind of bolt, a shadow that lines up a certain way at 4 PM. Then I place a Node. Or just recognize an existing thing as a Node. A Node means: I See This. It’s marked. It’s Important. To me.
Today was a fan replacement. Tower server, at a logistics company. The server room was loud. A high-pitched whine over a low rumble. I put in my earplugs. Not the foam kind, the silicone ones that fit properly. Took out the old fan assembly. Four screws, one power connector. It felt gritty when I turned the blade. Bad bearing. The new one spun smooth. Silent potential. Slid it in. Click. Screws tight. Power connected. Closed the case. Booted it up. All green lights. Satisfying.
2
Sometimes the offices are worse than the server rooms. Open-plan offices are difficult. Lots of noise happening at once. Phones ringing, people talking loudly about sales targets or someone’s birthday cake. Keyboards clattering. It’s a lot to process.
Yesterday was a marketing company. Music playing from someone’s desk speakers. Bright colors on the walls. Everyone smiling quite intensely. The office manager, Cheryl, stopped me right inside the door. “Anya! Here for the server again?”
I nodded. “Yes. Drive failure.” My voice sounded flat in the noisy room. Maybe too quiet.
“Always something with that one!” She laughed. A big laugh, startling. “You computer people keep us running, though! Couldn’t do it without you! Need coffee? Water? A high-five for being awesome?”
I just shook my head. “No. Thank you.” High-fives are awkward. The timing, the force. Too many ways to get it wrong.
She paused. The smile stayed, but looked forced, now. “Right then. Let me know if you need anything!” She walked away.
Later, driving back, I thought about it. Should I have accepted the water? Did shaking my head seem rude? Maybe I should have said “Water would be acceptable, thank you.” No, that sounds stiff. Why did I say “No. Thank you,” instead of just “No thank you” – didn’t that sound like I was mad at her? It was confusing.
Sometimes I practice saying things that seem ‘normal’ in my head, but it feels like reading from a script someone else wrote. It doesn’t feel like me. Trying to act like other people takes energy.
I think that sometimes I should try just saying Okay. Even if it’s not exactly what I mean, or what I think. Just: Okay.
3
FinAccurate Partners is different. It’s an accounting firm. Very quiet. Mostly grey carpets, grey desks, pale blue walls. The server room is small, neat, not too loud. I go there maybe once a month, always on a Friday. It’s how the routes work. Standard maintenance, sometimes a drive swap. It’s a good client visit. Predictable and quiet.
There’s a guy there, Ben. He works in their IT department. Not server hardware, more like software support, desktops. He’s quiet too. Sometimes he’s in the server room when I arrive, checking on their backup tapes or something. He usually just nods.
One time, maybe the third or fourth time I saw him there, I was replacing a power supply. A heavy unit, requires careful handling. He was standing near the tape library. He said, very quietly, “That model, the PSU fan is usually the first point of failure. Overheats.”
I stopped. Looked at the old unit in my hand. Looked at him. He was right. That was often the cause. I said, “Correct. Thermal stress.”
He gave a small nod, almost a dip of his chin. “They should have specced the redundant supply. False economy not to.”
“Yes,” I said.
He didn’t say anything else, just finished with his tapes and left the room. The interaction felt okay. Less tension in my shoulders afterwards than most clients. He didn’t ask for a high-five.
4
Placing is about Recognition. Seeing the systems and patterns, but then seeing the stuff that doesn’t fit them. After work, sometimes I drive around specific areas. Industrial parks are good, or old downtown alleys. Areas where things have been Added To or Fallen Away.
Last week I found a good one. Behind a tire shop, there was a brick wall, very regular pattern. But one brick, low down near a drainpipe, was installed backwards. The hollow ‘frog’ part (that’s what it’s called) was facing out. A deliberate choice? I thought about the person who put that brick there. I’m thinking about them now, too.
Next to it, a drainpipe elbow joint had extra sealant squeezed out, forming a little grey worm shape that had hardened. The combination – backwards brick, sealant worm – felt significant. Click. Yes. It was a Place.
I took out my phone and took three pictures from different angles. Logged it in my Placing app. (It’s not actually a specific Placing app. Just a photo album app that lets you put in notes, and shows the pictures on a map.) Marked it Frog and Worm.
It always feels good. It’s like your brain taking a slow, deep breath. Identifying the stuff that doesn’t fit makes it part of a new System. My system. People are always trying to make you part of their system. Placing lets me make my own. It makes sense to me, and it’s quiet.
5
Sometimes Placing isn’t just finding. It’s adding. Finding a place that’s too normal. Needs something more. Or something that’s odd, that seems like it needs a quiet Acknowledgement.
I have a label maker tape I peeled off a server we decommissioned last month. Its hostname was SAILBOAT. Just the word, in black on white tape. It wasn’t interesting when it was on the server. People put labels on them all the time. But when I peeled it off, it became something else. I looked at it for a long time. It felt strange, removed from its context. Untethered. I keep it folded carefully in my wallet, waiting for the right Place.
6
Next visit to FinAccurate. Ben was there again. I was running the RAID test; the one we’re supposed to run even though it never says anything but “Success”. There’s a lot of things I have to do even if I don’t understand why, because they’re just what you’re supposed to do. I was watching the bar fill up. Ben came over.
He held out a small, colorful package. “Want one?”
It was like one of those little snack size chip bags, from vending machines, but not a regular one. Japanese characters. Pictures of little squid shapes. “What is it?”
“Ika Crunch,” he said. “Squid-flavored snacks. You were looking at the box on my desk earlier. Thought you might be interested.”
I hadn’t been looking at his snacks. I probably would never look at someone’s snacks on purpose, because that’s Personal. I had been looking at the specific way his monitor cable was coiled.
I took the package. “Thank you.” I said it too quietly, and crinkled the plastic bag too loudly.
“They’re… an acquired taste,” he said. Almost apologetic.
I opened the bag later in my car. They smelled strongly of dried fish. Intensely salty, very crunchy. An unusual texture. Not bad, just Specific.
I thought about the interaction. He noticed me looking. He misinterpreted my focus. He offered food, an informal friendly gesture. It was nice. I accepted. Correct steps. I think I followed my part okay, but my voice level was wrong, the bag noise was too loud. Small errors, but they feel noticeable.
7
I have other things I like to do. It’s not just Placing. Sometimes I watch anime. Not the really popular fighting ones. I like one called Sleeping Giant. It’s supposed to be about explorers finding ancient giant robots left by some lost civilization, and trying to reactivate them before the bad guys do. That part is okay. What I like is the places they explore. Huge, empty hangars, overgrown power stations, silent tunnels. The artists draw the rust and the water leaks very accurately. You can see the same cracked pillar in different scenes if they go back to the same room.
The characters talk a lot. About alliances and betrayals, duty, feelings, things like that. These parts are some of the best, because it stays on one shot for a long time while they talk, and you can really get a good look at the backgrounds.
8
It was a bad day. Three calls, all difficult. First one, easy drive replacement, but the client kept asking questions that weren’t relevant to my task. Second one, network card failure at a dental office. Smell of clove oil and anxiety. Fixed it quickly but felt stressed by the environment. Third one. The marketing agency again. Cheryl’s place. The whole server rack had lost power. Chaos.
“It just died! Everything’s gone! We have a deadline!” Cheryl was talking very fast, pacing. The office felt loud, frantic. Server room alarms beeping. Multiple systems offline.
I had to concentrate. Block out Cheryl asking “Is it fixable? How long will it take?” every two minutes. Trace the power cables back to the main distribution unit. Check the UPS batteries. Test connections methodically. Found it. A loose connection inside the PDU. If you wiggled the power plug, it worked, but that was no good. I had a spare in the car. Swapped it out, switched it all back on. Systems began booting up. Lights turned amber, then green. Order restored.
Explaining it felt complicated. “The power distribution unit had a loose connection, causing voltage drops,” I said.
Cheryl stared blankly. “So… it works now?”
“Yes. The faulty equipment has been replaced, now.”
“Okay! Fantastic! High-five!” She raised her hand enthusiastically.
I focused. Match energy level. Smile briefly. Made contact. Maybe too soft? Her energy felt overwhelming. Doing it felt fake. I just wanted to leave the noise behind. Back to the quiet car. Back to the map on the GPS.
On the way out of the building, I noticed a single-occupancy restroom tucked away down a short hall near the loading dock. Looked like it was rarely used. The main restrooms were upstairs. I went inside. Very clean, but old fixtures. Pale yellow tiles. It felt like a hidden place, easily missed, but with its own quiet character. Different from the loud, bright main areas. It felt like it deserved some recognition.
I took the SAILBOAT label from my wallet and carefully pressed it to the cool porcelain on the underside of the sink, near the back wall. Hidden. A small, deliberate Wrongness; an answer to the overlooked strangeness of this place. Meeting it where it was at. Like saying: I noticed this, and I understood it, and I Appreciated it. Someone needed to. It felt like balancing something.
I thought briefly of Chloe. She’d probably find this hilarious, or maybe just deeply weird, and say so loudly. She wouldn’t understand the quietness of it.
9
Chloe is my friend. We met at the community college library, years ago, during a late-night study session event I mistakenly thought was mandatory for something. We’re not alike. Chloe is loud. She has bright pink hair right now, usually messy. She wears clothes with cartoon characters on them. She talks very fast, often in silly voices or accents. She doesn’t have much of a filter. If she thinks something, she usually says it, even if it’s weird or makes people uncomfortable. She’ll make jokes that nobody gets, or suddenly start singing loudly in public.
Sometimes when she does something particularly embarrassing, like asking the cashier at the bookstore if they have any good “boy love” recommendations in a loud voice, I find myself just zoning out. My brain puts up a little grey screen until it’s over. It’s a useful trick. Comes automatically. Chloe doesn’t seem to notice, or care. She just keeps going until she runs out of steam.
I mentioned the bookstore. We mostly meet at BrowseBound Books. It’s a huge one with coffee and lots of places to sit. We can spend hours there. Chloe reads manga, very quickly, sometimes making loud gasping noises or doing the voices. I usually find a book about castles, or urban planning, or how they design skyscrapers, and read quietly. Sometimes it’s a little hard, spending time with Chloe. She has so much energy, it can make me tired just being near her.
But she’s okay. She doesn’t seem to mind that I’m quiet or that I don’t always know what to say. Sometimes we go to IHOP late at night and she orders pancakes with extra whipped cream and tells me elaborate stories about her online roleplaying characters. I just listen, and watch things happening in the restaurant. It works, mostly.
10
Found another potential Place near FinAccurate. Walking back to my car after a call. A security camera mounted on the corner of the building. Standard dome type. But the bracket holding it was attached with three shiny hex bolts and one rusty Phillips head screw. All the other brackets I could see used four matching hex bolts. Why the difference? Lack of the right part during installation? Did someone try to tamper with it and replace a bolt? Or just an oversight?
It felt like it could be a Node. Needs a name. I stood looking at it for maybe three minutes, trying to think of one. Noting the way the light hit the rusty screw versus the clean bolts. A woman walking past gave me a suspicious look. I quickly checked my phone, pretending to read a message, and walked away. Placing needs privacy. People don’t understand just looking.
11
Finished replacing a RAID controller battery at FinAccurate. Ben had to sign off on my work order. He looked up as I handed him the tablet. “Hey, Anya.”
“Hey, Ben.” Routine greeting. Perfect.
As I was packing my toolkit, I decided to press my luck. To try Initiating Conversation.
“Noticed your workstation is very quiet,” I said, nodding towards his desk area. “Liquid cooling?”
Ben looked up, seemed slightly surprised I’d asked. “Oh! Yeah, it’s quiet. Stock fans on that chip get pretty loud, so I got the water cooler. Why do you ask? Thinking about getting one?”
“No.” Just making an effort. “Just thinking about cooling solutions.”
He nodded. Just as I was congratulating myself on this small Success, the question came.
“So, I usually grab a coffee after work on Fridays. There’s a place around the corner, it’s pretty quiet. Wanted to see if you might want to join me sometime? If you’re free after you finish up?”
My stomach felt tight. An unexpected request. Social situation. High chance of saying or doing the wrong thing. Many, many possible ways for it to go badly.
“Coffee,” I said. My voice felt stiff. “Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s iced.” Why did I say that? That wasn’t the point. Focus.
Ben blinked. He smiled, but it was a Nervous smile. “Uh, yeah. Well, just thought I’d ask. If you’re busy, or whatever, no problem.” He finished signing, handed the tablet back carefully.
“Okay,” I managed. Okay to what? Being busy? Coffee? The moment felt slippery, hard to grasp.
He just nodded and went back to his desk, focusing intently on his screen. I replayed the conversation all the way back to the office. Sometimes it’s hot? That was a weird thing to say. Definitely wrong.
12
Thinking about the Coffee Request. Ben was nice. The place is quiet, he said. That’s good. This is a Normal Thing that people sometimes do. Like team lunches, but less structured. Doesn’t have to be a reason for it. Maybe I should attempt it. Prepare topics.
Possible Topics:
Server maintenance schedules (Relevant, Factual).
Weather forecast (Standard, Neutral).
Potential benefits of changing the server’s RAID configuration (Relates to his job, Technical).
Do not mention Placing.
Do not mention Chloe.
Preparation might help. If I have a plan, maybe I can navigate it without making too many noticeable mistakes. Okay. Next Friday. If he asks again. I will say “Okay.” Just Okay.
13
Friday. FinAccurate. Replaced a defective memory module. Easy fix. Ben came over to sign off. He seemed hesitant. Then, “So… coffee, maybe? If you’re not busy?”
Time to try Plan B. “Yes,” I said. Voice okay? Not too flat? “Yes. Coffee is okay.” Still sounds strange. Better than ‘acceptable’, maybe.
Ben smiled slightly. Seemed genuine. “Great. Ready when you are.”
We walked around the corner. The cafe was dimly lit, mostly wood surfaces. Smelled strongly of coffee and baked goods. Low music playing. Manageable sound level. We sat at a small table near the back. Felt a bit exposed.
“So,” Ben started, after getting our drinks (I just got water). “Busy week?”
“Roughly standard,” I replied. Keep it factual.
“Right,” he said. He seemed thoughtful. “That memory module – I’m guessing that’s why that machine kept rebooting?”
“Yes. Factory default is to reboot when there’s a burst of ECC errors.” Good. Technical ground. Safe.
“Makes sense.” He took a sip. Silence stretched. Okay, Topic 2. “The forecast calls for rain later.” Felt foolish saying it, but it’s something people say. Trying to say more things like that.
Ben glanced towards the window. “Yeah, looks like it might rain.” He paused, looked back at me. “So, what do you like to do? For fun? Outside of work?”
The question felt too broad. Fun? What qualifies? My mind raced. Time to try Honesty. “Sometimes I do something I call Placing.” And now we’re off the plan.
14
“Placing?” He frowned slightly. The line deepened. “What’s placing?”
“It involves… locating anomalies. In the urban environment. Structural inconsistencies. Contextual errors.” Why am I saying this? It’s coming out clinical. Weird. My hands felt cold and damp under the table.
Ben looked thoughtful, or maybe confused. “Anomalies? Like… potholes?”
“No. More subtle. Like a mismatched bolt pattern. Or a backwards brick. Things that are Wrong. I document them. Nodes.” It sounded strange even to me, saying it out loud. Stop. Stop.
Ben’s expression shifted. A glint in his eyes that I couldn’t quite interpret. “You mean, like, you’re mapping hidden patterns in the city?”
Heat crept up my neck. He was mocking me, wasn’t he? “Not hidden. Just... overlooked,” I mumbled.
Ben leaned forward, looking at me too intensely. “So, it’s like... a secret language, almost? Only you know how to read it?”
My heart pounded. I didn’t understand what was happening. Sharing something Mine felt intense. Suddenly felt too exposed. Maybe he was humoring me, like I was a child with an imaginary friend. Or maybe not. But what if I explained more and he decided it was weird? What if he laughed? “It’s not like that.” The words came out sharp and defensive. “It’s just... observation. Details.”
I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat constricting. Ben said something else, but I didn’t hear it. It was too loud inside my head. I’d said too much, revealed too much.
Need to exit. “My,” I stammered, standing up too quickly. My chair leg scraped loudly on the floor. People at the next table looked over. “My phone. It just sent an alert. From work.” The lie felt clumsy, transparent. I didn’t meet his eyes. “I have to check it. Now.”
I turned and walked out quickly, pushing the door open forcefully. The bell jingled. Didn’t look back. Failure. Didn’t even need to analyze it. Clear failure.
15
Walking fast. Back to the car. Don’t run, just walk fast. Chest feels tight, hard to breathe normally. Coffee is okay? Placing? Anomalies? Nodes? Each word feels like a mistake. Wrong choice. Wrong tone. Why did I say all that? Why did I try to explain Placing? It’s Mine. Not for explaining. Not when the words go stiff and weird.
Maybe he was just interested, not confused or judging. He didn’t seem to think it was bad. But that felt worse, somehow. More pressure. Too much, too fast, too exposed. Even potentially positive signals feel dangerous – high risk.
He thinks I’m strange now. Definitely. Before maybe just quiet, now strange. Maybe creepy.
Got home. Didn’t eat. Straight to my room. Desk lamp only. Opened the small metal case. My bolts. Fourteen of them. Each one found, documented. Ran my finger over the smooth head of the carriage bolt. Solid shapes.
Watched Sleeping Giant. Episode 5 again. The part where they find the huge, silent hangar filled with dormant robots. Focused on the patterns of decay on the walls, the way the light came through the broken roof panels. Ignored the characters talking about destiny. The background details felt more real. Didn’t think about Ben, didn’t think about coffee. Just the quiet, empty spaces.
16
Next visit to FinAccurate. Drive replacement. Took longer than expected, array rebuild was slow. Ben wasn’t around when I finished. Found him later near the copier.
“Hi, Anya,” he said. Tone was neutral. Professional.
“Hello, Ben. Drive replaced, array is healthy.”
“Good. Thanks.” He signed the tablet. Kept his eyes on the screen. Handed it back. Polite distance. Like strangers again, almost.
The potential connection felt definitively closed now. There was a pang of something like disappointment, a small sense of loss for a connection that flickered briefly, a missed possibility. Like finding a Place, but on the other side of a chain link fence, on private property with high security. Inaccessible.
But mostly, overwhelmingly, a wave of relief. The pressure was off. A return to the Routine. No more unpredictable variables. Safer. Less draining, less chance of failure.
∞
Eton Solutions keeps the calls coming. I drive the white car. Follow the GPS. Go to the offices. Quiet ones, loud ones. Replace the failing parts. Drives hum, fans whir, lights blink. Predictable cycles. It’s okay.
Placing continues. Found Node #75 two days ago. A fire hydrant near the downtown library. Standard Mueller Centurion model. But painted the wrong shade of red. A slightly lighter, brighter red than the official city specification. Maybe RAL 3020 Traffic Red instead of RAL 3001 Signal Red. A subtle difference most people wouldn’t notice. Took three photos. Logged the coordinates, marked the paint code variance. Felt the familiar quiet click of Recognition.
Hardware problems are usually solvable. Trace the issue, identify the faulty component, replace it, test. Logical steps. Predictable, mostly.
But some problems are different. The cause isn’t always clear. The faulty component isn’t obvious. Replacing things often doesn’t fix it. Sometimes there’s nothing to replace. Sometimes you try replacing something inside, but it feels like it fits wrong. Rubs up against the other parts in a weird way. Makes things worse. Maybe you don’t fix it. Maybe you just accept things as they are.
I love her.
This is great writing.
This was written around a year ago, in mid-late April 2025.
For best results, listen to Cue off Yellow Magic Orchestra's 1981 album BGM immediately after reading.